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Stephen Colbert Answers Trump’s Latest Rhyme With A Savage New Verse Of His Own

“I’ve got to say, being told you’ve not been indicted for betraying your country is a pretty low bar for a victory lap,” Colbert cracked. “If I don’t run anyone over in my car tomorrow, I expect to celebrate with an ice cream cake.” One of Trump’s celebratory tweets even contained a rhyme about the “Russian collusion delusion.”  That led Colbert to reply with a verse of his own: 

After Mueller Report, Jim Carrey Sarcastically Asks: ‘How Could I Be So Wrong?’

In a long-running series of satirical artworks posted on Twitter, actor-comedian Jim Carrey has criticized President Donald Trump for a multitude of things, including his actions that have been under scrutiny by special counsel Robert Mueller for the last two years. Now, Attorney General William Barr has made public his summary of Mueller’s report, saying that there was no finding of conspiracy and that evidence of obstruction was insufficient to move forward ― and Carrey has made it clear this wasn’t the outcome he was expecting. In his latest artwork, posted on Twitter Monday, Carrey shows himself at a dinner table with the remains of a bird in front of him. “Ahh… waitress,” he says. “More crow please!” But Mueller’s report, as quoted in Barr’s summary, specifically says that “whil...

Trevor Noah Finally Figures Out Why Donald Trump Kept Repeating ‘No Collusion’

And, on Monday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show,” host Noah said it meant that he finally understood why Trump kept saying, tweeting and repeating the phrase “No collusion.” “He was doing The Secret,” joked Noah, in reference to Rhonda Byrne’s self-help book which proposed that people can get what they want via the power of positive thinking. “You see, you put it out in the universe and it happens for you,” Noah said. Check out the full clip here:

James Corden Finds Good News — And Bad News — In The Mueller Report

For James Corden, the Robert Mueller report on the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election was a case of good news and bad news. The bad news, the host of “The Late Late Show” said Monday, was the special counsel concluded that President Donald Trump did not collude with Russia. “This completely wrecks my bracket!” Corden said. “I had Donald Trump going all the way to impeachment.” The good news, he said, was that Hollywood will inevitably make a movie about the investigation and he knows who should portray Attorney General William Barr: The Late Late Show For more of Corden’s take, watch the video above.

Jimmy Kimmel Reveals What Mike Pence Really Thinks About The Mueller Report

Jimmy Kimmel said President Donald Trump and those closest to him are celebrating the report from special counsel Robert Mueller that found no evidence of collusion between his campaign and Russia.  “Kellyanne Conway drank the blood of an entire goat last night,” he cracked. “The only way Trump could be happier with this Mueller report is if a porn star rolled it up and spanked him with it.”  But he said there’s one member of Trump’s inner circle who’s not-so-secretly disappointed by the outcome: Vice President Mike Pence. “Look at how bummed he is, he is so disappointed right now,” Kimmel said as he played a clip of Pence. “He’s like ‘I could’ve been president, now all I have left is the Space Force.’” See his full monologue in the clip above.

Colbert Brings Down The House With A Special Post-Mueller Message Just For Trump

Count Stephen Colbert as among the many stunned by the end of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. Mueller reportedly found no evidence of collusion between Moscow and the campaign of President Donald Trump, which left the “Late Show” host with some burning questions.   “If Trump is not working with the Russians, then what the hell is wrong with him?” he asked. “If they don’t have anything on him, why does he keep saying nice things about Vladimir Putin?” Colbert then went into a series of comparisons for the situation, ranging from “The Manchurian Candidate” to “Lost” to “Seinfeld.”  As Colbert noted, many on the right are demanding apologies from those who have criticized Trump over the past two years. Colbert was happy to deliver...

Twitter Critics Mercilessly Mock Kid Rock And His Flag Pants Posing With Trump

Kid Rock’s gleeful pose with Donald Trump on the links at Mar-a-Lago didn’t go over very well on Twitter. Fans mocked Rock’s goofy flag pants and his choice of golf partners. Some wondered what Trump was doing playing golf Saturday in the middle of his declared “national emergency” at the southern border. Others were perplexed that Trump has a conniption fit when football players take a knee during the national anthem to protest racial injustice, but apparently found those pants perfectly okay. Some, like actress Roseanna Arquette, got downright snarky about Rock’s post being a desperate bid for attention. Another great day on the links! Thank you to POTUS for having me and to EVERYONE at Trump International for being so wonderful. What a great man, so down to earth and so fun to be with!!...

Seth Meyers Trolls Glenn Beck With A Not-So-Subtle Chalkboard Message

Seth Meyers on Thursday examined how Republicans were “already falling in line” with President Donald Trump ahead of his bid for re-election in 2020 — including one supposedly reformed, right-wing pundit named Glenn Beck. The host of NBC’s “Late Night” noted how Beck spent “most of his years as one of the most unhinged voices” on Fox News, using a chalkboard to claim that former President Barack Obama was a dictator. Beck’s apparent “change of heart” saw him attacking Trump in the aftermath of his 2016 victory. But Meyers said Beck finally “dropped the act” this week when he predicted that if the GOP didn’t retain control of the White House, “we are officially at the end of the country as we know it.” Meyers concluded his segment by sending a not-so-subtle chalkboard message of his own to ...

Donald Trump Jr. Debuts 2024 Campaign Ad On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

And Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday aired the first (fake) campaign ad for President Donald Trump’s eldest son. “Apparently they’re hoping to form a Trump political dynasty like the Bushes had,” the comedian explained as he introduced the mock promo above.

Trevor Noah Loses It Laughing About Border Thefts: Mexico Is Stealing The Wall

Trevor Noah couldn’t stop laughing at the report that concertina wire stolen from the U.S. southern border is being sold to homeowners in Tijuana, who are using it to fortify their properties. On Wednesday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show,” Noah described the news as his “favorite story of the year” and perhaps his entire life. “I’m sorry guys, this is insane. You heard that right, Mexico is stealing the wall. Oh man, I wish I could have been there when Donald Trump saw this story on the news.” He later imagined what the thieves are saying about the thefts.  And see Noah’s take on President Donald Trump’s Twitter feud with George Conway, the husband of White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, here:

Seth Meyers Turns Donald Trump’s ‘Husband From Hell’ Attack On George Conway Right Back At Him

Donald Trump’s ongoing feud with George Conway, who is married to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, continued on Wednesday as the president described the conservative attorney as the “husband from hell.” But “Late Night” host Seth Meyers explained why Trump was “the last person” who should call anyone that. “You’ve been divorced twice, you paid hush money to a porn star, your affairs were all over the tabloids and you misspelled your wife’s name,” said Meyers. “If anything, ‘Husband From Hell’ sounds like the name of a Lifetime movie about you.” Check out the clip above.

Stephen Colbert Gives Robert Mueller A Hot Tip On How To End The Investigation Quickly

There is growing speculation that special counsel Robert Mueller is winding up his investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election and allegations of collusion with the campaign of President Donald Trump.  But “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert doesn’t want to wait any longer.  He suggested an ending straight from the cartoons. 

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