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Trevor Noah Calls Out Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson And Laura Ingraham: You ‘Don’t Get To Say S**t!’

Trevor Noah is calling out Fox News hosts Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham for seeking “revenge” now that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation is over.  In his four-page summary of the Mueller report, Attorney General William Barr said the probe found no evidence of collusion between Russia and President Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign.  Noah then played clips of the Fox News hosts reacting to the news, demanding that the people who pushed for the investigation be “punished” and accusing them of being “deeply unpatriotic.” In one clip, Hannity even claimed he would “hold every liar, every propagandist, every conspiracy theorist accountable.” “Whoa, whoa, Sean Hannity, pump the brakes. If you got rid of all the conspiracy theorists, propagandists and liars, Fox News wo...

Trevor Noah Finally Figures Out Why Donald Trump Kept Repeating ‘No Collusion’

And, on Monday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show,” host Noah said it meant that he finally understood why Trump kept saying, tweeting and repeating the phrase “No collusion.” “He was doing The Secret,” joked Noah, in reference to Rhonda Byrne’s self-help book which proposed that people can get what they want via the power of positive thinking. “You see, you put it out in the universe and it happens for you,” Noah said. Check out the full clip here:

Trevor Noah On Reparations: ‘I Have My Eye On You, Elizabeth Warren’

“Let’s talk about slavery,” Trevor Noah said Thursday when he opened his monologue on “The Daily Show.” Then he quickly added, “No, white people, come baaaack!” “Even today,” he said, “the topic of slavery still brings up so many hot-button issues – racism, Confederate statues and, lately, reparations.” Noah, whose book Born a Crime tells his story of growing up as a mixed-race child in apartheid South Africa, said that reparations for slavery, once considered a radical idea, has become more mainstream. Presidential candidates, including Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.), Julián Castro and South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg, are saying it needs to be considered. Noah welcomes the discussion, with one caveat. “I have my eye on you, Elizab...

Trevor Noah Loses It Laughing About Border Thefts: Mexico Is Stealing The Wall

Trevor Noah couldn’t stop laughing at the report that concertina wire stolen from the U.S. southern border is being sold to homeowners in Tijuana, who are using it to fortify their properties. On Wednesday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show,” Noah described the news as his “favorite story of the year” and perhaps his entire life. “I’m sorry guys, this is insane. You heard that right, Mexico is stealing the wall. Oh man, I wish I could have been there when Donald Trump saw this story on the news.” He later imagined what the thieves are saying about the thefts.  And see Noah’s take on President Donald Trump’s Twitter feud with George Conway, the husband of White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, here:

Trevor Noah Is Fed Up With Wokeness: ‘This S**t Is Getting Ridiculous’

Trevor Noah thinks Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke is being forced to apologize too much ― and it’s time to put a stop to it.  O’Rourke ― or “handsome scarecrow,” as Noah called him ― has come under fire lately for some of the things he did as a teen, including belonging to a group of hackers and writing violent fiction.   “He wrote fiction,” Noah said, adding: “What’s next? Are we going to arrest George R.R. Martin? ‘That man’s a monster. He killed thousands!’ No. He’s a monster because he refuses to finish those books. That’s why he’s a monster. What the hell, George? You and Robert Mueller having a contest? Someone release something, goddammit!”  Noah said O’Rourke had to apologize for that and “about 50 other things,” including an interview in which he said he was “born...

Trevor Noah: Beto O’Rourke’s Bid As Surprising As Tucker Carlson’s Racist Remarks

In what may be the biggest non-surprise of the 2020 presidential campaign, Beto O’Rourke announced his candidacy for the Democratic nomination, Trevor Noah said Thursday. “Yes, that’s right, Beto O’Rourke is officially in the race,” said “The Daily Show” host. “And it’s about time because he’d been teasing us for months. Yeah, he wouldn’t say he was running. But he was on Oprah. He was on the cover of Vanity Fair. He released a documentary. But whenever we asked him if he was running he’d answer like a coy Southern belle: ‘I might, but a lady never tells.’” “Obviously, we all saw this coming,” Noah added. “This is the least surprising thing to happen since we found out Tucker Carlson said something racist.” Check out the video above to see why Noah thinks O’Rourke’s loss in the 2018 Senate...

Trevor Noah’s ‘The Daily Show’ Looks Back At ‘The Worst Scandal In Presidential History’

But they are nothing, according to “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah,” compared with “the worst scandal in presidential history” ― when former President Barack Obama donned a tan suit during a 2014 press briefing. Well, it was a scandal in conservative quarters, at least:

Trevor Noah Reveals The Real Reason Black People Won’t Vote For Trump

On Wednesday, former Trump attorney Michael Cohen called his former boss a racist during testimony before Congress.  “What?” he asked. “Black people wouldn’t vote for you, Trump, because they’re too stupid? No, Donald!”  Noah said there was another reason black voters won’t choose Trump. Two reasons, actually: 

Keeping Up With Sex Scandals: Trevor Noah Lists ‘The Pervs’

The news has been full of reports of sex-crimes accusations against priests, patriots, politicians and pop stars, or as “The Daily Show” host Trevor Noah calls them, “the pervs.” Noah had something to say on Monday’s show about a number of cases: R. Kelly, singer: “After years and years of alleged sex crimes, R. Kelly may finally be facing justice. And it almost feels strange that they got him after all these years, you know. It’s like if Wile E. Coyote finally caught the Road Runner.” Abusive Roman Catholic priests: “The pope has threatened abusive priests with the wrath of God. That is the ultimate ‘just wait till your dad gets home.’” Jeffrey Epstein, billionaire: “Think about how crazy this is. There is a member of Trump’s Cabinet who has helped a billionaire sex offender sweep a scand...

Trevor Noah’s Hidden Oscars Joke About White People Is Sneaky Fun

Oscars viewers who don’t speak Xhosa may have missed Trevor Noah’s joke about white people during Sunday’s ceremony. Noah, the South African comedian who hosts “The Daily Show,” was introducing “Black Panther” as a Best Picture nominee when he brought up the film’s fictional setting of Wakanda. “Growing up as a young boy in Wakanda, I would see King T’Challa flying over our village, and he would remind me of a great Xhosa phrase: Abelungu abazi ubu ndiyaxoka, which means: ‘In times like these, we are stronger when we fight together than when we try to fight apart.’” But many outlets, including the BBC, pointed out that the phrase from the Bantu language, one of the official languages of South Africa, actually means: “White people don’t know that I’m lying.” Watch the sly fun, complete with...

Trevor Noah Amazingly Finds A Silver Lining In The Jussie Smollett Story

Trevor Noah has somehow managed to find a sliver of good news when it comes to the controversy surrounding Jussie Smollett and his alleged planning of a fake hate crime against himself. On Thursday night’s episode of “The Daily Show,” Noah offered a brilliant takeaway from the controversy surrounding the “Empire” star. After Chicago police put together a report of what they believe occurred during the allegedly staged attack, Noah pointed out, numerous groups have been upset about the revelation. Survivors of hate crimes worry it will discourage actual victims from coming forward, Trump supporters feel they’ve been maligned, and prominent Democrats, like Sen. Kamala Harris, have walked back their initial outrage. “When this started out, it was a story about people who hated Jussie Smollett...

Trevor Noah Torches Fox News With ‘Reverse-Marie Kondo’ Zinger

Trevor Noah poked fun at the Fox News hosts who are freaking out about the so-called “scandals” engulfing the potential Democratic challengers to President Donald Trump in 2020. On Tuesday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show,” Noah noted how hosts on the conservative network — including Sean Hannity ― were honing in on issues such as Sen. Cory Booker’s (D-N.J.) veganism. “Oh man, I feel so bad for people who take Fox News seriously,” said Noah: “It’s got to be so much work. Because they’re always telling you, like ‘The Democrats are coming for your shit! You’ve gotta stockpile a lifetime supply of meat! You’ve gotta stockpile guns! You’ve gotta keep your fossil fuels! Your bibles! American flags! Confederate statues!’ There must be one closet at your house that’s chaos. Complete chaos.” “Fox Ne...

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